Do You Really Know Who You Are?
Okay, alright already, your right. I know you know who you are. You are Joe Bloggs, male, 45 yrs old, married 2 children, carpenter, owner of one house with a mortgage. Or whatever Your equivalent of that is.
BUT, is that who you really are?
I went to a Kinesiologist the other day and he made an observation that he believed that I was not much good at dealing with issues unless they had a system, an index of how I was to work my way through them.
Then he went on to say that as long as the chaos was held at arms length I was exceptionally good at assisting others to find a system that would help them move through their chaos.
Interesting, I was hopeless at sorting out my own chaos and needed someone to assist me put a system in place to sort it out but I was exceptionally good at helping others put a system into sorting out their chaos.
What an embarrassment. I was hopeless at doing the very thing that others were willing to pay me for to help them.
I thought I had me worked out. Well maybe it would be more honest to say I had developed a process that allowed me to turn a blind eye to my own inadequacies. I only thought I knew me.
I worked with a client who assured me that they were a very good Manager, caring for the staff and encouraging them with very positive and affirming words.
When I talked with the staff, they were very quick to affirm that the Manager did give positive feedback, however, it was always given just before there was a tirade of frustration and anger about how they weren’t giving their all to the business, thus letting the manager down.
When this was explained to the manager, there was disbelief and obvious hurt form the comments, yet in the end when manager and staff had finally come together in a without prejudice manner and allowed open communication to happen, the great Aha occurred and the manager became aware of the way they were responding to their staff.
I may believe I have your best interests at heart, however, if I am unwilling to share my beliefs with you and have an open, nonjudgmental conversation.
Shall I say there was a time when I did believe that I knew who I was, however in a moment of weakness I was willing to hear what someone else thought and at least attempt to understand how they saw who I was.
Funny, they saw me differently to how I saw me. Who had it wrong. Maybe no one, maybe we were both a little deluded. I saw me through my lens, they saw me through their lens. What could be done to find total objectivity.
I remember Dr Keith Rayner, an Anglican priest who was Archbishop of Melbourne and Primate of Australia, saying, “….we need to be open to the truth in other peoples error, but also be aware of the error in our own truth…..”
I will learn to know me better when I listen to the thoughts of others, they may be wrong but at least, if I am honest, I will be willing to entertain their comments objectively, taking on board those things I can appreciate contain some aspect of truth.
I may never know exactly who I am, however, by being open to others, I may continue on the journey of better understanding who I am.