Monthly Archives: February 2011
“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.” ~Fr. Alfred D’Souza.
In the midst of life we are in death, so the funeral service goes.
Every moment in life is a death to this moment and a rebirth to the next moment. Death and rebirth = Change.
This last month has been challenging. We took Lorraine’s mum in before Christmas so she could be with us over the Christmas period. It then began to be obvious that she would not return to her own home. Life changed from focusing on the two of us to focusing on her. It got more and more consuming.
Lorraine had a training for her kinesiology business in New Zealand which meant two weeks overseas. Mum would not permit her to cancel it on her behalf. Result- she went into Respite at the local Private Hospital for the time. She continued the decline that we had seen since she had been with us.
Finally on February 6 she died. We did the full family get together which was challenging but brilliant for the healing process. Had a service on February 11. Family left after working on cleaning up her home and dispersing furniture, clothes etc, to family, friends and community agencies.
Yes this is personal, but it had incredible similarities to so many of the business’s that I have worked with in the past.
Mum was putting on an outward appearance to the world that, yes, she was 90, but, there were many good years still to come. Whilst deep within not fully wanting to admit the fact that things were not totally as she would want them to be.
Does that have some resonance with your business? Are you telling yourself aloud that all is going okay, yet at the same time, having that inkling that something is not quite right.
However, she was still doing things that were potentially able to change the outcomes, her challenge was her inability to take the action she needed to take.
In business how willing are we to look at the issues? Then find someone to reflect back to us an outsiders awareness of what they see. Someone who will tell it as it is so we have less chance of fooling ourselves. Do we have someone to keep us accountable?
She had someone to facilitate that process. Who drew her attention to what initially she had committed to putting into action. However, she was also in charge so she had the ability to say when what was needed was beyond her.
She was kept accountable to what she had chosen to do and was in a position to change that choice at any time. This was her life and no matter what our agendas were, our focus was on facilitating her in working through the choices she was making.
We reached a point when she made the decision that she needed to call the family together and talk about where too next.
She then advised what she wanted for her funeral, apportioned certain assets not mentioned in the will to various family members and noted the decisions made in her note book. Not bad for a Leadership Succession Plan. The baton was passed and family were prepared to move on.
If only all our business and life decisions were acknowledged and out in the open like hers were.
It is called being in charge and being aware of all the facts pertaining to whatever issue we are dealing with. Putting everything on the table, being totally honest with ourselves and allowing others to keep us accountable, call us on our choices, facilitate us looking at things from a variety of perspectives, ask us the hard questions that we may have been avoiding.
December’s life flowed into January’s life flowed into February’s life and that is about to flow into March’s life.
At every moment of Life there is Life. All the individual moments of life that we work through meld together to create our life. They are our life. Let us use all the tools available to live it to the full.